


No, You May Not "SHIELD-Sanction" Your Dance Crew.

by AllTheKnightsSayNi



Series: What Do You Mean By 'Dance Crew'? [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Fantastic Four, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Not a Crossover, OC mentioned - Freeform, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Pop-Tart Vortex Grenades Caused All of The Thor: Dark World Portals!, The Trouble Triplets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-26 15:26:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3855667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllTheKnightsSayNi/pseuds/AllTheKnightsSayNi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had always been on Tony’s bucket list to get a dance crew started at SHIELD. Just because a) such crews are awesome, b) they do some really cool dance moves and c) it would annoy Fury. No, really; it was right on the list after the ‘Pop-Tart Vortex Grenades.’ Coulson does not approve, but is willing to go along with it if he wins his bet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No, You May Not "SHIELD-Sanction" Your Dance Crew.

SHIELD Admin’s only indication that something was going on was an innocuous e-mail sent to management, namely Nick Fury:

_To: FuriousAdmin@tipdrop.net_

_From: WaterSpout@st.co.ru_

Brace yourself; Tony got Just Dance for Christmas.

That in and of itself should have inspired fear into the heart of any brave soul, but Fury had better things to do—like dealing with this week’s batch of gigantic purple man-eating gerbils—than concern himself with silliness such as that. The message was also in no way important, world threatening, or logical, and it wasn’t one of the singing telegram e-mail notices from Tony (comparable to the Howlers from Harry Potter).

*****

“Sir, some of the Avengers are trying to form a dance crew in the break room. How do you want me to deal with it?” was the question Phil Coulson asked as he walked into the Director’s office.

Apparently, Coulson had seen Tony in the break room trying to coerce the other Avengers into joining him in a ‘trolling of the minds,’ as Stark called it. It also probably said something about the makeup of the Avengers if Barnes, Thor, and Barton almost joined Stark, before Coulson had informed them that they were (under Section 3 Clause 16 of the SHIELD Bylaws) prohibited from doing so inside the Helicarrier. This amendment had, of course, come about as the result of an earlier attempt to do so, which had ended in a moderate amount of property damage.

_"Then can we SHIELD-sanction it?" Tony asked, with Clint vigorously nodding in the background._

_"_ _No," Coulson said in that dead-pan voice he had mastered over the years._

“Coulson, are they destroying anything?” Fury asked.

“Not yet, but it was funny in a very unprofessional sort of fashion,” Coulson replied.

“Then carry on as normal and pretend like they don’t exist.”

“Yes, sir. Why?”

“Because since no new assignments have come up lately, the Trouble Triplets have gotten rowdier, so this will keep three disasters at bay. Also, I’m betting that at least one of the three will get knocked on their asses in the process of attempting to dance.”

“Do you want to bet on that, sir?”

“Ten.”

Coulson and Fury shook hands, and none of the “Trouble Triplets,” collectively Barnes, Stark, and Barton, were any the wiser.

*****

Back at the Tower, the Avengers were having logistics trouble.

Namely the fact that Steve was stalling his acceptance into the ‘Clan of Coolness’ by avoiding Tony whenever he tried to educate Steve on the wonders of the Internet. Though, there was also that Barnes was off flirting with Darcy, and Jane had tried to eat the Pop-Tarts Tony had created. The result of this last one was that she had gotten sucked into another dimension, so nobody knew where she was now. One more item checked off the bucket list: Pop-Tart Vortex Grenades.

“So, of all the things you’d want to do, a dance crew is the top item on the list?” Steve asked Tony disbelievingly.

“Definitely. It’s been on my bucket list for years, along with going back in time and meeting that one dude that died while filming the third Harry Potter, and getting a Fundamental Force hired at SHIELD.”

“You actually have a list? And what’s a ‘Fundamental Force’?”

“Yes, I do have a list, and a Fundamental Force is a humanoid entity that has hosted an Essence, though that usually happens in Arc Miridan rather than here."

“It sounds like some cheesy version of the Fantastic Four,” Clint cut in. “So, Shellhead, when are we going to do this dancing shindig?”

“We need more people. Like Natasha! I bet she can dance really well,” Tony said excitedly.

At this Clint and Steve exchanged dubious looks.

“Not Natasha?”

“She doesn’t really seem like the type to get up and dance in front of a lot of people,” Steve said.

“Not unless she was heavily drunk, anyways,” Clint piped in.

“Okay, what about if we just blast the Helicarrier's intercom system with music? It can be a SHIELD-agent flash mob,” Tony suggested.

There was a brief interlude, in which Tony and Clint had to explain what a flash-mob was and how Steve had not yet lived until he had started or been a part of one.

_"A bunch of people come and dance for no apparent reason other than the fact that there's music."_

_"So, they all organize and meet up some where?"_

_"No, it's usually a couple people that start it, but then people just join because they can."_

Finally, there was consensus.

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t worry: Jane comes back. Eventually-- think Dark World style. Also, the guy Tony is referring to is the first actor that played Dumbledore. He died during the script writing of the third movie, so the producers had to re-cast his role.  
> Also, please leave feedback in the comments (and kudos, if you see fit)!


End file.
